Binom
An unreflected past will return. The lies can’t be a norm. Secrecy based on lies has a destrucitive power.
Do you really know everything about your loved one?
Finalist + Honorable mention of the
APhF Dummy Award feat. Witty Books
Finalist of the Photobook Award EI 2023
I was born in the USSR in an ordinary Soviet family. My father worked as a programmer on the state service (as I and my sister were told). He always loved mathematics and computers.
But after my dad’s suicide in September 2001, some nuances revealed. His state service was in KGB and his job was a cryptographer in the department of governmental connections. It was a secret job, and it was forbidden to him to talk about it with anybody. He couldn’t travel abroad as he had an access to the governmental information.
I worked with my father’s photo archive to find any traces of his hidden life. He left about 35 bw films and some color slides. I knew he had talent in mathematics since middle school. He was invited to enter the High School of KGB without exams. He was a student of the 4th technical faculty - the new faculty for cryptographers. Since that time he was a part of KGB till the end of his life.
The book consists of two parts. One part is a construct of the secret life from photos, documents and historical events (mainly wars and military invasions) of USSR. The second part is about our ordinary soviet life. I don’t remember many details as my memory hid it from me after my dad’s suicide.
Binom is a short word for binomial. In algebra, binomial is an expression having exactly two unlike terms. Also, students of the 4th Technical (cryptography) Faculty of the High School of the KGB jokingly were called “binomes”.
Project’s story
Stage 1 “Start”/ 2019-2020
This period was dedicated to my lost memories about my father. I opened the box with his photo archive after 18 years after his suicide. This stage was very painful and very personal. I applied to the art residency - Photobook as an Object (Tokyo) - to make a photobook. I was chosen as a participant. However COVID-19 changed all the plans.
Stage 3 “Keep going”/ 2022
I relocated from Russia to Armenia and then to UAE. My father’s films are with me and I keep scanning them. The shock after the Russian’s army invasion to Ukraine switched on the regime of deep self-reflection. I realize that suicide is not the main drama of my father. The more important was his secretive life of an KGB officer. Actually, he had two lives at the same time for many years. That was the most dramatic about my father. Now I have the main idea of the project.
Stage 2 “In pursuit of the main idea”/ 2020-2021
I was searching the main idea of my project. I realised that the fact of suicide was so strong that it overshadowed everything else. It beat immediately with an uppercut on the viewer. I wanted to focus on something else. I felt the main idea wasn’t in suicide but in something else. I tried the are of mathematics and cryptography. I tried to find a secret key or a secret message from my father. In this stage I’m still too personally connected to the material.
I tried different forms of the project from exhibition to performance. Every time I faced with the wall of my broken memories and trauma of the father’s suicide.
Stage 4 “Making a book”/ 2022
Finally the main idea is found — the double life of my father. One is an ordinary life of a soviet family man with a wife and two kids. The other — is a secret life of a cryptographer for the governmental information in KGB, an intellectual challenge and a military service at the same time.
Japan was opened after COVID-19. I went to the Photobook as an Object workshop lead by Yumi Goto (Reminders Photography Stronghold) and Jan Rosseel.
My photobook was born there.
Stage 5 “On my way to publishing”/ 2024
Now I’m based in the USA for a while. I’m searching the options to publish my photobook. It’s like a puzzle game with many variables. However, I feel the strength looking back to my path with the project. I will solve this equation.